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January 24, 2006

For the first time in my life

Dear Marianne,

For the first time in my life and I am 60 I have a person in my life that I hate. I have been annoyed with people before, removed myself from peoples presence because of negativity drain. even been through two divorces and a very tense custody issue but I have never ever felt hatred before. This person has totally disrupted my relationship with someone very dear to me, caused the most painful experiences in my life for the past year. I have meditated over this, used various forgiveness processes, My mantra seems to be "I relinquish all grievances, regrets, resentments" concerning this person..and choose the miracle. I keep saying this sometimes for an hour at a time. I feel at peace for a while and then she will do something new and I am right back in the darkness. Hatred this virulent is a new experience for me and I truly do understand that I am only causing myself pain and of course a loss of peace. Please help me release this thought, feeling, obsession if you will.This person will be in my life until either she dies or I do so I must heal this. Please pray with and for me. Help me to see this with new eyes.

B

+++++++ Marianne's Response++++++

Dear B,

I was once where you are now. It was terrible, and you're right in saying that the person being hurt most by your virulent feelings is yourself. Anger is a detroyer. Even physically.

So you're right, as well, in saying that you need a miracle. Whatever this woman has done to you, your mortal mind is totally incapable of finding its way to forgiveness.

Remember the words of Jesus: "Pray for your enemies, and bless those who curse you."

I recommend:

1) A thirty-day prayer vigil Despite whatever resistance you feel, pray for this woman's happiness every day for thirty days. Try to do this in the morning and at night. See God putting His arms around this woman. It will be difficult at first, but in time it will nullify the toxicity.

You might want to light a candle in front of a statue of the Virgin Mary, and ask her for a divine intercession. She comes from a thought system beyond your own, and intercedes on behalf of your holy self.

2) I recommend Azim Khamisa's books and tapes on Forgiveness. They're a powerful statement, and have been a huge help to me.

3) I hope this helps:

Dear God,
Please send Your spirit
into Barbara's heart,
and wash her clean of the hatred there.
Deliver her mind
beyond the thoughts that wound,
perceiving guilt in another
and thus in herself.
Uplift her mind
and thus free her heart.
Take the relationship
that so hurts her,
and transform it
through Your love.
Amen

Posted by mwblog at January 24, 2006 10:44 AM